Kathy Griffin Isn't on the D-List Anymore. (We Have Proof.)

When Josh and I heard that Kathy Griffin was going to be at the Barnes & Noble in Tribeca tonight, promoting her new book Official Book Club Selection, we didn't even really have a conversation about it. We just knew we were going. Period.

Over the last four years Josh and I have been to scores of readings, and by now we have it down to a science: Get there half an hour early if it's a lesser-known person; get there an hour early if it's a relatively famous person and plop down jackets or bags if your friend(s) are late. If you want to be really safe--or if you're anticipating a lot of interest--maybe even go two hours ahead.

Tonight, though, we both had stuff to do  and  couldn't meet before 6 p.m. in Tribeca for the 7 p.m. event. We dutifully showed up an hour early, assuming we might have a crappy seat near the back, but at least we'd see her Royal Vagesty in person and get our no-holds-barred infusion of Kathyness.

Oh. Oh ho.

Oh no, child. Not even.

Ready for this?

No, seriously.

First of all, if you wanted to see Kathy Griffin at all, you were required to purchase a copy of her book, ringing in at a nice hardcover hefty $25. That was the first surprise. And it was a surprise because, in all of the readings we've ever been to, there has never once been one where book purchases were required.

Second, once you purchased a book, you were issued a wristband in varying colors. Certain colors guaranteed seating; others connoted standing-room only. If you were late to the game there were none to be had at all. (Wristbands? For a reading?)

And the game, my friends, started early: Kathy fans started lining up at 6 a.m. for the right to buy her book, get a wristband, and camp out in a maze of velvet rope penned-off waiting lines that rivaled anything I've seen before in New York (or Disney Land--seriously) before getting a non-personalized signature from Hers Truly.

Altogether nearly 1,000 fans (a thousand!) showed up at Barnes & Noble Tribeca for Kathy.

Just for perspective, an average reading by a lesser-known author might have 30-50 people in attendance (often many of which are friends, family, and/or publishing/PR folk). You can fill the seats for Dan Savage; you can go into overflow and standing for Augusten Burroughs, and over-overflow for a Nobel Prize winner like Toni Morrison.

But a thousand people? That was new. It's easily more people than the crowd at the last six readings we've been to all put together.

The seriously bad news for hoi polloi? If you didn't buy a book and get in line with the hundreds and hundreds of waiting fans, you wouldn't get a chance to even glimpse Kathy. The velvet ropes had been set up so that nobody could see Kathy unless they were getting books signed. Those at the end of the signing line couldn't even hear her as she addressed the crowd. They just stood near the B&N Cafe, shuffling their weight from leg to leg in their respective winding cattle lines, waiting to get their books signed.

On top of that, getting your book signed wasn't even guaranteed (but they did promise to really try).

All of that didn't stop Josh and I from strategically camping out near a pile of new fiction selections not terribly far from the event area, where we heard everything, even though we couldn't see Kathy (which was a strange phenomenon all on its own--she's just right around that corner, but you can't see her).

And, alas, Ms. Griffin spoke to her crowd of many (emphasis on many) for a mere ten minutes so she would have time to sign as many books as possible. During that time, she didn't read a single sentence from the book.

Then again, she didn't have to: Everybody already had the damn book.

So.

All of that said, do we love Kathy Griffin? To bits and pieces. Would we shell out cash for another of her stand-up shows at Madison Square Garden, or anywhere else? Without question. Worth every penny.

But wow, Kathy, can we talk? Honey, you're not D-list anymore. You're now officially on the A-list.

* * *

KATHY GRIFFIN HAS A BOYFRIEND FOR YOU

If you're single and ready to mingle, a Kathy Griffin book signing is apparently better than speed dating or match.com to put you in a giant pool of dating options. There was every shape, size, style, and flavor of gay present tonight at the bookstore.  Deep v-cut shirts, scarves, shoulder bags, bulging biceps, strategically bared triceps, snug jeans, plastic-framed eyeglasses, and every other variation spanned as far as the eye could see. There were a smattering of ladies as well, and some heterosexual male stragglers (welcome, guys!), but there were gays o' plenty, as I'm sure nobody is surprised to hear. So if Kathy is coming to your town, get thee to a B&N. The fruit is low-hanging and ripe for the plucking. Have at it.

FOR THE RECESSIONISTAS AMONG US

Kathy's book Official Book Club Selection--which looks pretty great from what we saw in flipping through it--is available for $15 on Amazon. That's a nice way to chop ten bucks off bookshelf price, no?

(And our two cents? Use the ten spot you saved on the book to buy a drink for your new boyfriend that you meet at the reading. You can thank us later.)

**UPDATE: KATHY SHARES THE JOSH & JOSH LOVE ON FACEBOOK

Whoa! Kathy posted a link to this blog post on her official Facebook page!

What can we say? We're honored. This is us sending Kathy a big Josh & Josh smooch.

P.S.

Like the new header? It's a Josh K. original, the first new one in a long time. Are you loving it? Cuz I'm loving it. It made me have banner nostalgia earlier today and I had to flip through our banner archives (on your left) and reminisce.

--Josh H.

Comments

[Lee]

I was there tonight, I didn't even know she spoke at all! I was just happy for the few seconds I got to see her when she signed my book.

[Erin]

Me and my friends from pace university made it there for the signing and we got to sit in the audience in front of her while she spoke. We bought the books around 2pm and they gave us wristbands to come back later. Let me just say that it was amazing! She's so genuine to each person and she cracked jokes with just about everyone she talked to. Five of us took with her and she said that we were like the cheerleading squad she was never on.

[twitter.com/geministyle]

Miss Kathy is all about making that Cheddar!!! I still love her, think she's hilarious and will buy her book

[phildev.wordpress.com]

Great article. Josh! I've only seen Kathy live once, at the sole Australian date she's ever performed I might add, but she was phenomenal and I can't wait to get my mitts on a copy of her memoir!

[Heather]

I was there too and in the back of the line. It was quite an experience getting stuck in the sex section and having a bunch of gay guys reading aloud Letters to Penthouse. I have also been to a lot of book signings and this was pretty crazy. Only David Sedaris was worse and they wouldn't let anymore people in the store after a while. He did stay late though and signed all the books, I believe. I was lucky enough to get one of the last wristbands and get my book signed by Ms. KG. Way to go Kathy! You totally deserve it!

[Kevin]

I was there early and the B&N had already run out of books to sell and they were telling people that you couldn't get in line without one.

[Michael]

Josh:
I think I'm in Love with You.
Michael

[www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=26311729]

I was there and let me tell you. :( I got my book signed but didn't get to talk to her. Damn Entertainment Tonight reporter took advantage of that second of silence (I was speechless!!) and started asking away about Jon Gosselin UGH. !!!! I was also trying to be polite--polite (?), I can't believe that came out of my mouth, for this was my only chance. I could only muster to say (as the bitch next to her was signaling me to scram) "HiKathyGriffinnicetomeetyou[broad smile]". To which she replied "HI! Thanks for buying the book". :/ Wish I had a "better" experience.
If it wasn't for the fact that I was star-struck. :/ :) :?

[George]

I wanted to let you guys know that idiot Perez Hilton also posted a link to this blog post on his website along with his own commentary. I think he was trying to portray Kathy in a much more negative light than you guys had intended...go figure!!!

[Meghan]

I was there too! Got there around 6pm, bought 2 books and got to Kathy at 8.50pm. One of my friends met me after the book sold out, we had a lot of fun in the sexuality section as well. I didn't get flustered until I saw Tom & Tiffany, then I had to re-compose for Kathy. It's great that she kept her energy up for everyone, it made waiting in line for over 2 hours worth it. I just watched all her interviews regarding the book, definitely excited to read it.