Diary of a Delayed Traveler

Live from John F. Kennedy Airport, Terminal Four, New York City

8:57 a.m. EST

I've never missed a flight in my life.

That is, of course, until today.

I woke up at 5 a.m. in my apartment on the Upper East Side, finished throwing the last of my things into my suitcase, and got out the door at 5:45 a.m.

The train business was fine until it was time to catch the A train to the airport. Let me try and explained the fecked up complexity of getting the right train to the airport: just a few stops before the airport, the A line forks off in two directions after going on the same track for miles and miles. If you're on the wrong train, you're hitting a virtual dead end, all dreams of the airport far in the past.

Well, I got on the right train and ended up at the airport and everything, but all the hemming and hawing and trying to remember how the fecking thing worked ended with me losing about 20 minutes. That 20 minutes, of course, was all I would have needed to make my flight.

But wait, there's more.

My flight was supposed to leave at 8:25 a.m. and I was in line at the airport at 7:30 a.m. The line moved slower than your grandma after a recent hip replacement, though, (actually, more like your grandma in a coma), and by the time I got to the front of the line--literally, as I was the next person in line--the supervisor said, "It's too late for anybody going to Minneapolis on the 8:25. You missed your flight."

What? F**k. Double f**k. It was only 8:05 a.m.

I sat in line and listened to them calling final call after final call for my flight.

I am now a happy little part of something called "standby travel." It means that I get to sit at the gate and maybe, hopefully, possibly they'll stick me on the 11:30 a.m. And if not that flight, maybe the 1 p.m. And if not that, something else. Somehow, someway, they will get me to Minneapolis today. I just might end up spending most of the day playing in the JFK airport shopping center instead of in Minneapolis with my family.

There are a few upsides, however. All hope is not lost. I do have a trusty Egg McMuffin at my side, complete with Diet Coke, and I do have a free wireless connection. There are a shitload of stores around, too, so maybe I'll do some damage around here. I see the new John Grisham paperback is out (The Broker or something?) and maybe I'll get that. Somehow John Grisham books are distinctly tied to travel for me. It seems like the kind of thing you'd read at the airport to make the time fly. I've got a few New Yorkers and a Details and an Esquire, too, so I'm not too badly off. Not to mention that this does mean I get a few hours of peace and quiet just to hang out, as well.

Maybe there is a bright side to all this, after all. ;)

Anyway, wish me luck. Oh, and I'm looking out this huge bank of windows at the runway and a bunch of planes and I've just realized that it's totally pouring out there. I'm hoping that won't make things any worse.

If it does, there's always something to eat, though, and somethin' else to read.

See you on the flip side, guys.

* * *

9:37 a.m. EST

Soundtrack for a Delayed Morning at the Airport

Extraordinary Machine | Fiona Apple
Galang | M.I.A.
Hung Up | Oh Please, You Know Who Sings This One
My Doorbell | The White Stripes
My Phone's on Vibrate for You | Rufus Wainwright
Naked As We Came | Iron & Wine
Nothing Better | Postal Service

Comments

[Eric]

Oh no! My condolences.

I remember back when I used to take the A train to JFK...I now try to avoid doing that as much as possible.

The LIRR and the Air Train are more expensive, but much quicker and more reliable (and the Air Train is kind of cool). Just for future reference. And if two of you are travelling together, a car service or a cab really isn't so bad...

Happy Thanksgiving!

[ThatGuy]

Ah holiday travel...certainly makes one wonder if possibly our pre-airplane ancestors didn't have it easier when all they had to do was go over the river and through the woods with a horse that knew the way to carry the sleigh.

If I were on your flight - I would give you my nuts.

[Roy]

Ok, we like the SAME music!!!! I love love love MIA, I have Fiona's album, of course, the Madonna one, and the Postal Service is also in my iTunes library...and who can forget about Rufus...he's sublime....

I kind of like airports for some reason. It's like prime people-watching time! You have plenty of things to do to pacify your time..enjoy!!!! ANd I hope you get home real soon!!!

Muah! Happy early Thanksgiving!

[Jon-Marc]

I hate, hate, hate the A. In fact I used to do posts called "The A Train Chronicles". The sad thing is it's the train that I take most often. The only redeeming thing about it is that it is express most of the time

[Matt S.]

I hope that you found a flight and safely returned to good ole Mpls to see the fam. Enjoy your long Thanksgiving weekend!

[Joe in the Cities]

Grrrrrrrrreat song selections! Very nice. Hope everything worked out okay. I'm gonna be having Thanksgiving in th Minneapolis myself. Let me know if wanna hit the town, I'm always game! Seriously though, could be lot's o' fun......

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

[Brian]

Josh H! Are you still trapped in the airport?! Way to leave us hanging.